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So I didn’t manage to update at all in February at all, but I have been resting and recovering and (on occasion) overdoing things and having to rest even more. The fact that spring is on it’s way is quite energising, though I do have to be careful not to do too much, which is sooo hard for me.

Most of last month was horrible weather-wise, wild and stormy and cold, which meant it wasn’t too hard to hibernate. It’s always telling of how wild it’s been when I have a build up of salt on my windows from the sea opposite my house. I failed miserably at trying to photograph that though. I did manage to get out and about on a few occasions and then found, after a week of visiting folk, doing my housework and beginning to tidy my studio, that I couldn’t get out of bed for a few days.

Then lying in bed, looking at the wild weather outside I decided that recovery is a bit like a Highland Spring. You get these lovely jewels of a day that remind you why you decided to live somewhere so far north and then come the storms and the lambing snow and the cuckoo snow (don’t quote me on which comes first!) and everyone hunkers down for a few more days. But progress towards growth and lighter nights continues regardless and bulbs sprout and leaves start to bud and everyone seems just a little brighter.

But the last weekend of the month was lovely weather-wise and it was if the Highlands decided to cheer us all up by showcasing how fabulous it can be. We had glorious sunny and relatively warm days and the most wonderful show of Merry Dancers (Northern Lights) with clear starry skies. I didn’t manage to get any photos of those either, but luckily my wonderful pal Lorna at Castle Cottage B&B did manage to get some wonderful shots which I’ve shared below. Do check out lorna’s website if you are planning on staying in the village, it’s great accomodation with lovely views and a very friendly welcome

Though I am so, so much better than I was, I had to enjoy, what I think has been the most glorious display of Merry Dancers that I can remember, from the photos shared on Facebook and Instagram by my friends and neighbours as there is no way I’m up to driving round the village after 9pm, by then I’m usually quite sore and ready to head to bed with a hot drink and a couple of paracetamol

However, I am trying to focus on what I can do rather than those things that still have to wait and I can do so much more than even a few weeks ago.

I managed to go back to my art group and do some oil painting and some drawing. It was so good to be able to meet up with arty folk again and they are so generous and supportive. I painted this wee painting of pears in about an hour, but first painting post op. I’m definitely keeping this one.

I also managed to head down to the Howard Doris Centre and met fellow volunteers from the Growing Group. We currently seeking funding to erect a poly crub and build more raised beds. After a consultation process last year to find out what people wanted from a growing project It’s hopefully the beginning of something quite exciting.

I delivered some paintings to the very able Ross of Freedom Framery He and partner Trish have got together with other businesses down at the smithy hub to organise a mini spring show, which starts this Saturday 4th of March and runs for about six weeks. These are three paintings that I made at the end of last year, but I reworked them a little bit and added some spring flowers. Ross is framing them for me before the exhibition.

I’ve also opened my Etsy shop again as I’m well enough to go to the Post Office now. It looks a bit sad at the moment with very few items on display as I had a sale before Christmas both online and at my studio. I sold more than thirty items, which was wonderful. I do have some new work ready, which I plan to upload some over the next couple of weeks, but it’s takes a while to photograph and upload everything so it might take me a while, but do keep checking in if you’re interested.

I’m planning to offer some prints of my work this year on Etsy and maybe some packs of greetings cards as quite a few folk have been asking whether I would considering offering that option, but more about that soon.

I’m hoping to get back in the studio next week. I’ve missed it so much but I am scaling back a bit this year and will probably have less work for sale. I do have an exhibition scheduled at An Talla Dearg  at Hotel Eilean Iarmain in October, with Aileen Grant Art and Steven Proudfoot and while that seems a long way away right now, it really isn’t, when you’re working on a body of work. Aileen and Steven always produce such wonderful work and it’s such a great wee gallery that I don’t want to let anyone down. I’m really glad that we’re on the calendar for October rather than June as we have been for the last few years, because there is no way I’d be ready for that.

Thanks so much to all the lovely, lovely people who have supported me over the last few months. The messages and little kindnesses have been wonderful. Thank you xx

My operation was seven weeks ago today and it’s weird, it simultaneously seems like ages and no time at all.

I’m no longer on opioid medication, so I’m quite proud of that, but I had some quite uncomfortable side effects when I accidently came off them too soon. I’m still taking painkillers though I nolonger have any dressings on my wounds and they’re healing, but still sore at times. I’m able to do so much more than I could just a week ago, but nowhere near as much as I’d like to.

I’m currently sitting in bed in my spare room as there is a good view of the garden, and I’m tired because I cleaned the bathroom after my morning shower (just a quick wipe down, don’t tell my husband!) I’m resting, admiring the snow and being kept company by my cat

I was beginning to do a lot better I think, but then Nick and I went away for the weekend, we didn’t go far and we stayed with lovely friends, one of whom is a nurse and who is wonderful and supportive. I had a comfortable bed and small appropriate meals, but now I’m really tired. I am in no way complaining or regretting the visit. It was a really great weekend, I needed a break and my poor, incredibly supportive husband definitely did, but there will be no painting or drawing this week and I might just manage to get my taxes done by Saturday.

But it is a shock, when you come to realise how fragile and slow recovery is. I can no longer assume good health which is sobering. So I found myself, measuring my small successes and planning for the future and yet, at the same time, not taking anything for granted, because all of this, my entire journey of the last few months, came out of nowhere.

I always thought that I was an empathetic person, but now I hope I understand more deeply how frustrating ill health can be. How much I need to prepare for even a short journey in a way that I never did before. I also came to realise how much the little things come to mean, the messages on Facebook, the loan of a favourite book or the card or scented candle or the gorgeous socks knitted by a very kind friend. I have thanked people individually, but I’ll say again how much these things mean to me. Thank you.

My world has shrunk for the moment and yet I also feel so very, very blessed. Nothing went wrong during my operation, there were no complications and I am apparently recovering comparatively quickly. I have a truly wonderful supportive and caring husband. We spend a lot of time, just holding hands, being together, enjoying our time together.

I’m also so very lucky to have such a wonderful family and really great friends and neighbours.

I’ve not sketched or drawn anything yet, though I do have some ideas rattling round in my somewhat addled brain, so I know I’ll get there, hopefully fairly soon.

There are always good things

I can’ rush anywhere at the moment so I have time to read books, listen to podcasts or watch videos on YouTube (there are some great arty ones) and music to listen to. I’ve been blessed with visits and kindnesses from my wonderful friends.

I’m very lucky that I had such a good year as an artist last year, I was quite prolific, and sold quite a few pieces, and I have some works ready to go out once I’m ready again. But in the meantime I sold a painting, which I had shared and exhibited last summer. It’s of the Quiraing on Skye and a lovely local lady had fallen in love with it. She got married at Christmas and her family bought it as a wedding present, which was wonderful. It was one of my favourite paintings from last year and the new owner is someone who has a special connection to the place I’d painted and I’m so very happy that it’s gone to a lovely new home. (pictured below, thanks JM for letting me share the photo)

Lying here, resting after my exertions(!) I’ve had lots of time to think. One of my friends asked me, over the weekend how I thought this experience might have changed me. I told her that I won’t put things off any more, I’ll do things when I can. But there are more things that have changed about my persepective. I am on the road to recovery and whilst it’s an uphill journey with loads of pot holes, is is a mostly forward progress, hopefully without to many obsticles in the way further along the route. So more than anything I’m grateful. Greatful for my husband, family, friends and neighbours, for the roof over my head and my comfy bed. I am far more blessed than many people I know.

Maybe my next blog will be about my art again? I do hope so

In the meantime, much love to you all.

Cindie xx

I’ve not updated since June and so this is a much longer blog than usual, in fact one of the longest I think I’ve ever written, so apologies for that. But it’s been a very eventful year, so if you do want to know what I’ve been up to, do get yourself a cup of tea and buckle up for a long read!

My last blog post was in June. I’d had a great couple of weeks at An Talla Dearg at Eilean Iarmain Hotel on the Isle of Skye and then, as is so often the case, experienced a few weeks of low creative energy. Then I went and dog sat for my daughter so she and her partner could have a well earned holiday and explored the outskirts of Glasgow, then I enjoyed spending time with both my children this summer when they came to visit us.

In August I painted and made cards and Christmas decorations and started to get ready for an Open Studios event, due to take place at the end of September in my area, with plans to attend some Christmas craft fairs, to submit work to several exhibitions and to reopen my Etsy shop in October. I also continued to be involved in a community garden project and planned to run a 4 week botanical art session at the Howard Doris Centre, a wonderful local community facility. It was great to be so involved with local volunteers, beginning to grow some vegetables and gather feedback to work towards creating community growing spaces.

We worked together to hold a Harvest Festival event, to celebrate a successful six month long pilot project, where we swapped plants, shopped at a pop up with Blythswood, collected for a foodbank and ate home baking.

Then I got a stomach ache

First of all I thought it was an IBS or Diverticular flare-up, but it didn’t go away after five days I was still in pain and then it got worse.

My GP was fantastic and, when the pain became really bad, he and our lovely locum, who used to work at an A&E Department gave me an intrevenous pain killer and arranged for me to be admitted to the surgical ward at my nearest hospital, Raigmore in Inverness. Within an hour of me arriving they discovered that I had very high levels of infection in my liver and had started me on broad spectrum antibiotics in order to reduce the infection and diagnosed me with probable Colitis. They sent me for a CT scan at 8 o’clock that (Saturday) night and then, just after midnight they sent me for another scan and I began to realise that something was really wrong.

By 8.30 am the next morning. I had been futher diagnosed with a very large sarcoma (tumour) and the bottom had fallen out of my world.

I will never forget having to ring my husband and tell him and my mother and sister. Nick had the job of telling our children, his brother and our friends. I will never forget how awful we felt and how scary it all was.

This is the bit when I stop the narrative to give a an explanation of where I live and the special circumstances that are particular to those of us who live in the Highlands.

Our local surgery is excellent, outstanding, I cannot praise them highly enough. They are our first port of call and they have never let us (as a family or as a village) down. Raigmore is also excellent. I had my babies there 30 years ago, I’ve had previous Cancer screenings and been taken there as an emergency with internal bleeding after a car accident 20 years ago, but it is 60 miles away on mostly country roads, some of which are single track. There is an air ambulance service for those who are major emergencies and there is always the possibility, if a diagnosis is a complex one (which mine was), that a patient might be transferred to Aberdeen or Glasgow or Edinburgh.

That weekend, I didn’t know if that would happen to me, certainly, if the antibiotics hadn’t worked I would have probably been transferred. But they did work and I was sent home and travelled back and forth over the next few weeks for tests, scans and a biopsy.

The sort of Sarcoma that I apparently had is very rare, so there is no dedicated team at Raigmore and we knew really early on that I would have to go to Glasgow for an operation.

Then, for the next few months all we could do was wait.

The Sarcoma was confirmed to be pretty large, approximately 20cms, but apparently Sarcomas tend to be very slow growing and mine had probably been there for several years and it had only been found because it had finally become large enough to impact my stomach and colon and started to interfere with digestion. It therefore wasn’t as urgent as it might have been if it had been a more aggressive form of Cancer.

Then came the best news that we’d had for weeks. The tumour was low grade and almost certainly benign. I would still need a major operation, I would still need to go to Glasgow for that, but things did not seem as bleak or as uncertain as they had been.

This time, the time of waiting, was when my husband and I came to realise how blessed we are. My children both live in the central belt, so we had somewhere to stay and my husband would not be alone while I was in hospital. We also found out how lucky we were to have such wonderful family members and friends and neighbours. We were overwhelmed with the kindness and support that we received. We tried hard to live in the moment. I worked to get as fit as possible after the colitis incident with walking and exercise with a lovely local lady who runs classes in fitness and zumba. We tried to take joy in the moment and in each other. My husband spent time with his lovely music group friends and I spent time with the garden group when I was well enough and I went out sketching with the some of my artist pals.

We didn’t have the best summer this year, it was cold and wet, unlike just about everywhere else on the planet! But the autumn was lovely and we managed to get out almost every week. Again, I felt so blessed. I have such wonderful friends and the weather and the beauty of my surroundings helped me keep positive and as fit as possible

Eventually we were given a date for the operation, 30th November 2022 and I decided that I wanted to feel a wee bit of normality before I went away. So I did my Christmas shopping and I decided to open my Etsy shop and remind myself that I am still an artist, and why I do what I do.

So for three weeks I took photos and uploaded some of the paintings that I’d done over the summer months and even made some new work and it was glorious. It was great to talk art, to wrap up wee parcels and send them off to folk and to concentrate on what I love for a week or so.

But all too quickly it was time for the operation.

I was in hospital for 9 days in the end. and away from home for two and a half weeks. We had travelled down prior to the operation and I had pre-op tests before being admitted for the operation and then, after discharge, I rested for several days before travelling home, a journey which usually takes more than five hours.

At every step of the last four months I have been supported and cared for by the NHS. Every single member of staff, without exception has been absolutely wonderful. The technicians who did the tests, the nurses and doctors and auxiliaries who cared for me. The Macmillan nurse who answered my questions. The wonderful surgeon who operated, who discussed every step with me before the operation and who came to visit when it was all over. In what was the scariest and most challenging period of my life I was incredibly blessed to be able to rely on an incredible jewel of an organisation.

I’ve been home now for just over two weeks and, four weeks after the proceedure I’m on the mend. It was indeed a very large operation but it was apparently completely successful and I have an excellent chance of staying Cancer free in the future.

But, you can’t go through an experience like that without being changed. As I have already said. I feel so very blessed to have such wonderful friends and neighbours, I am very grateful for my wonderful husband and family and so very, very grateful that the worst did not happen.

At the moment I’m too sore to make art. I do miss it, but I’m just not well enough yet. I also get very tired. I am still enjoying and finding inspiration in the art of others and if you’d like to get in touch with me please do, either through my website or through my various social media platforms – I would love to hear from you.

I am so very grateful to everyone for the care and support that I received. I am so lucky that I know I will be well again, hopefully by the spring and hopefully able to take part in the things I that I have planned.

Thanks to every one who has bought or shared my art this year. Thanks to my friends and neighbours, to my family and to the wonderful NHS for getting me through this enormous challenge. I do not yet know what will come out of this experience for me. I do know that it has changed me and really made me appreciate how very lucky I am. I look forward to returning to my studio as soon as I am able and I wish you all a good year in 2023.

Tomorrow is the last day of my joint exhibition with Aileen Grant Art and Steven Proudfoot and it’s not exactly the hardest job in the world to be surrounded by gorgeous art.

It’s very true that both Steven and Aileen are talented, but what has really been brought into focus for me over the last couple of weeks (and indeed at previous exhibitions) is how skilled they are.

Steven has been primarily a watercolour artist, but recently he has started painting in oils and mixed media. His paintings are all about light and how that changes through the seasons and at different times of day.

He has a really delicate touch and with just a few brushstrokes he can seem to make his paintings glow with light and colour.

Aileen Grant’s work, to my mind at least, is all about atmosphere. She works outside a lot in various sketchbooks and with a variety of different mediums. She then returns to her studio to create paintings which are very evocative of hills, corries and lochans in all kinds of weather conditions. Aileen’s painting seem to shimmer with iridesence. Trees seem to move in the wind, storm clouds scud across the landscape and there is also the light of hope.

Surrounded by all this art as I have been, I have things about all the paintings that appeal to me, but I do have a favourite from both Aileen and Steven.

Whilst Steven’s paintings seem to glow, full of light and colour, something about this small, deceptively simple one above really appealed to me. It’s oil on board, a lovely letterbox shape and I love the rusty rocks against the deep blue of the sea and the pop of colour provided by the buoy. This painting has sold but if you are interested in Steven’s art a lovely selection is at his website here: Steven Proudfoot

I couldn’t get a better photo of this gorgeous painting of Aileen’s it’s near Torridon and I love the dark clouds and the light in the forground and that glimmer of hopeful light on the horizon. This painting is (at time of writing) still for sale, so please contact her at her website: Aileen Grant Art if you are interested in this or any other of her paintings

And what about me and my paintings? It’s been wonderful to be able to share my art and talk to people about it. I can often only see things about my work that I don’t like, but I do have some favourites and the one that I would like to keep from this exhibition is this one. I have a spot for it just over my mantlepiece, as long as it doesn’t sell by tomorrow!

It’s been a funny old year so far and it’s only June! As I write this Aileen Grant, Steven Proudfoot and I are just about half way through our 2 week exhibition at An Talla Dearg at Hotel Eilean Iarmain. It’s a wonderful place to exhibit and we all feel very blessed to be able to show our work here. It’s our 4th time here and it’s such a lovely, friendly place that it really does feel like a second home.

I had such a busy year in 2021 with two exhibitions and sales online and locally, that I felt I needed to take a step back for a wee while and make some new art. I’ve been so focussed on sketching and painting that I haven’t blogged for about six months, but the An Talla Dearg exhibition was both a goal and a deadline, so I managed to create a large amount of new work including more than 30 new framed pieces for the exhibition.

Once the exhibition is over, my artwork will go to two great local venues, which I’ll share later and I also plan to hold some open studio sessions in August, so I’m not sure what I’ll be able to get online for sale or when I’ll manage to do it. But I will definitely keep you posted.

I’ve also been sorting out my house and become more involved in community projects and I have some stories and updates to share with you all so I promise to update very soon.

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I can’t believe it’s 2022. Last year seemed to pass so quickly.

It was a year of ups and downs for so many people and I was no different. I spent the first half of the year in lockdown working towards my solo exhibition at Gairloch Museum. It was a fantastic experience. I painted 10 watercolour botanical paintings and seven botanical oil paintings and probably several hundred sketches, drawings and studies.

I then went on to show more work in a joint exhibition at An Talla Dearg at Eilean Iarmain, which was exhausting but great fun.

I loved the exhibitions, they were both a wonderful experience, but I was very tired and a wee bit burnt out afterwards. I spent the summer neglecting my sketchbooks and hanging about in the garden, on the days it wasn’t raining that is.

In September I visited my son in his new home in Linlithgow and caught the sketching bug again and I have been very busy painting and drawing almost every day since then.

And now it’s the time on year when many of the artists I follow on social media share a top nine photo quilt (which is below) I’ve curated this year’s to try and illustrate my artistic year

The botanicals are from my Flora Gadelica exhibition as is the painting on the bottom right. That was a small acrylic study for a larger oil painting, which was a centrepiece of the exhibition.

The top middle painting and left middle painting were new works for the Eilean Iarmain exhibition. The top right is a reworking of an older painting and the last two were painted at the end of the year.

This year has been a bit of an artistic journey for me as well as an emotional one. Botanical art is very different from landscape art, at least it was for me, in terms of technique. Botanic art is much more detailed and very precise in technique and that affected how I painted my landscapes.

I’ve been drawn to realist art for sometime and am very impressed by the work of such artists as Renato Muccillo or Andrew Tischler and, after painting so many botanical pieces, I found myself drawn to that style of painting and several of the pieces that I painted at the earlier part of the year were in a more realist style. However, I’m not sure it’s for me and instead in the second part of the year I found myself reverting to a far looser style, but that perhaps is better observed than some of my older paintings? I’m still not sure where I’m going artistically, but I’ve been sketching almost every day for the last month or so and I’m seeing where that’s going to take me. I have included a small selection of some of the sketches that I have done this year below.

The studies above were done really rapidly one morning, when the loch was very still and there was a temperature inversion. These have all gone to new homes, but they may still yet be used to make a larger painting.

Some of the sketches above were done earlier in the year, preparing for Flora Gadelica and then laterly I have been using ink and pastels to try and loosen up my mark making again.

This year I’ve done a lot of sketching outdoors and have been experimenting with various media. I’ve found that when I’m working outside, things change really quickly, the light, the colours even the weather and a looser mark making method helps me record what I’m seeing more quickly

The sketches above show the contrast between being in the studio and focussing on the details of, for example, a botanical specimen or being outside and trying capture the vibrancy and ever changing colours while painting en plein air.

I have an exhibition planned for the early summer, but I’m also (covid allowing) planning to hold some open studios this year and hopefully popping some more art on my Etsy shop (link below). But, after such a busy year last year, I’m trying to focus on just making art for no particular goal.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Finally, I will leave you with the last piece of art that I did in 2021, ending the year as I started it with a botanical study that I did as a gift for a friend.

I know, it’s been far too long since I last updated, but it’s been a strange few months. I was exhausted after my exhibitions and therefore spent much of the summer in the garden, hardly painting at all.

My son moved to a new flat this year in the very picturesque town of Linlithgow, we went to visit him and I finally got back into painting. I often find that a change of place stimulates my creativity and that was certainly the case this time.

Since then I’ve sketched, drawn and painted almost every day. I’ve restocked some local shops which carry my artwork and started to paint towards next season, a planned exhibition and open studios.

I’ve really enjoyed painting again and I’ve recently helped start a drop-in art group with some artist friends here in Lochcarron – I’ll be off to that tomorrow morning. which I know will help to keep me motivated.

I also have a craft fair this weekend, and, if I manage to get the time to do some photographing, I’ll try and get a few more new pieces on Etsy. I’ll only be selling within the UK for now though. I

I also got to meet Jean Michel O’Shea a couple of weeks ago. Jean Michel has undertaken a body of work, which he hopes will serve as a legacy called the Artist Unknown Project Jean Michel is visiting artists all over the UK to talk to them, take stunning photos and tell their stories. Jean Michel’s photos are striking and the artist’s stories fascinating. Click on the link Artist Unknown Project if you want to read more about me, Aileen Grant or another local artist Vicky Stonebridge along with other artists and follow Jean Michel’s journey and view his photography.